I seriously can’t believe that the Olympics are just right around the corner! I do not have tickets to any events, as they’re just too expensive. But I’m hoping to catch some free events:
They are 3-1/2 years apart, but they’re older, and they each can put up a good fight or argument now. And when they start to push or hit each other, that really aggravates the Boot Camp Mom in me. Don’t get me wrong. I have an incredibly silly side, and am incredibly affectionate with my children. But I really have to be “boot camp” with my disciplining as I’m the only parent in the picture. If they don’t listen to me, then all goes to hell, you know?Anyway, Saturday we hung out with my parents and my brother, Allen. The dude has been copying movies for me to watch on the Playstation box that they gave me. You can plug a USB thingy in it that has movies. It is ridiculous! You never have to go to a movie rental place again! That’s all I use it for. I have yet to let my kids play video games on it.
Colton dug the Harley jacket from his closet. It’s a real leather jacket. Joel’s sister had bought that for him when he was first born, and it’s just been hanging in the closet forever. It’s actually kind of fortunate that Colts found it as it just fits him now. He thought he was all that.
On Sunday I decided to take the kids into Chinatown. Myk’s school is having a Valentine’s/Chinese New Year thing on Friday. I usually always have her in a cheong-sam and all decked out. However, the one she has does not fit her anymore, so I wanted to check out Ochi Fashions.
They closed up Quebec Street by Science World. There were blockades and cops on the corner of Main & Terminal. I also saw a bunch of volunteers in their blue outfits (I covet those blue outfits!)walking in, so it must’ve been some kind of rehearsal or something. I was way too gung-ho and got to Chinatown at 10:00am. That Ochi store didn’t even open on Sunday till 12:00. So we just walked around. I’ve been to Chinatown numerous times with my kids, and you do notice the homeless and the druggies walking about. Usually they never bug you. You may get random ones asking for change. Their main hang-out is Main & Hastings, which isn’t far from Chinatown. However, today we were totally approached by a couple, and saw weird situations. I noticed this one woman swerving and slurring about. Twitching. It’s sad to see. At one point she ran from kiddie corner to corner on a red!!! She’s obviously in her own little world. Anyway, I’m walking with my kids. Colt is to my right, and Myk to his right. Suddenly this woman slithers to my left and she’s talking to us in this hoarse whisper. She went on and on about something, and then asked me for change. We just all keep walking, and then she leans forwards and starts talking to the kids. This is what I don’t like. The Mama Bear comes out. Colton just kept walking and stared straight ahead. I didn’t see Myk’s reaction, but I just kept them walking. Then the woman slithered away. Right when she left, Myk goes: “She was so scary Mommy!”. And I’m real with my kids. I mean, there’s no point in candy-coating things at that point, so I tell her: “That’s what happens when you take drugs. You’re not yourself. It’s really sad.” So then we’re silently walking, and Myk goes: “Mommy, did Daddy take drugs?” 
I was taken aback and go: “I don’t think so. I mean, we haven’t seen him for almost 3 years, so I know nothing about him really.” I don’t think Myk needs to know complete truth right now. She’ll be imagining her father in this ‘world’ and I don’t need her to stress about grown-up stuff. I was actually impressed how Colton reacted. Usually he’s the first one to start interacting. But I guess he sensed she wasn’t right and just ignored her.
Anyway, to waste some time, I took them to eat at a noodle house. After that we went to buy some buns at New Town Bakery.
They’ve got great buns and stuff, but I notice that they’re not as cheap anymore. And it’s outside this store where you get asked for spare change alot.
Anyway, we still needed to waste some time, so I decided to take them to Waves, a coffee shop on Main & Pender. I was kind of hesitant as I know druggies like their caffeine fix. Now, people are people. They don’t bug me, I don’t bug them. But when I have my kids with me, it’s different. We walked in, and it wasn’t so bad. Just some young people on lap tops, and old people. No one looked jacked up. There were 3 cushioned chairs around a table on the corner, and Colton tried to sit there, but he encountered a grumpy chinese fella who wanted the area to himself. Colton comes back to me and goes: “I don’t like that man.” I couldn’t hear what he said to Colts. So I got my coffee. Then my kids started begging me for a chocolate chip muffin. So I sat at a table, and told Myk to line up for one. I was only 3 metres away from her. Then Colton wanted to line-up, so I told him he had to stay close to his sister. All of a sudden this man, carrying a backpack and holding a blow dryer with the cord dragging behind him, butts in front of my daughter. I could see Myk’s mouth open, like she wanted to say something, and then it closed. He’s agitated and keeps mumbling about how they have his backpack, and that it’s crucial that he gets it back. It’s very important. He has to have it back. They have it. The girls behind the counter are obviously used to stuff like this happening. One girl pretended to look in the back, and come back saying that they don’t have it. He was still going on. By this time, I’m already standing beside my kids, the buffer between this guy and my children. I could see Myk put an arm protectively around Colton’s shoulders. So sweet. I mean, this guy is obviously in his own world, and you never know. Finally we got the muffin and sat down.
He cracked a girl up by insisting that I take a picture of him in front of this sign. Anyways, finally it was 12:00 and we headed to Ochi.
I could’ve bought one around Chinatown for $8.00, but the quality is equal to the price. Ochi is on Pender Street, and there are two stores, each literally across the street from each other. They had a 20-50% off sale on certain things. There was a 40% off deal for the girls cheong-sams, and I got Myk’s for $22.00! It was so worth it, as the quality is much more beautiful. She chose a blue one. Pics to come later. She was so incredibly excited to get a new dress. This is my favourite place to buy chinese outfits. They have traditional. But the designer also designs dresses with a modern flair.
I doubt I will make many trips to Chinatown much anymore. I mean, you can get oriental groceries anywhere nowadays. I just don’t need my kids to be around that environment. I mean, a reason I left the ex was to protect my kids from that stuff.
The Vancouver Chinatown Chinese New Year Parade is on this Sunday starting at 9:30am. I will try to make it. They’re starting earlier this year to accomodate Olympics stuff. I don’t know how crazy it will be.
We also watched the Superbowl last night. Colts saw a body pile happening, and insisted on watching it so that he knows how to play football. We were watching the half-time show, and then “The Who” comes on.
We’re watching for a bit, and then Colts goes: “Is that a grandpa singing?!?!”
Last night the landlords were in my place trying to install a faucet. The builders were idiots and never put any caulking. The countertops are that cheap wood (beaver puke), so in the past 10 years, the water has just eaten up the counter top holding the faucet. And the screws holding the faucet basically rusted till they fell off. Anyway, 2-3 hours later, it was figured out. So yay! You know, I never intended to stay here for more than a year. But they’re great landlords, and I really like the area. I’m comfortable. It’s still a postage stamp, but for us, it’s home. The 55″ TV really makes it cool. In my dreams, I’d love to live in a 3 bedroom apartment.
I was thinking last night about me blogging. My daughter is getting older, and she is already navigating through the net at school. I think pretty soon I will refrain from blogging about them. She’s getting older, and God forbid she (or her friends) chance on this site and see all this personal stuff. It’s cute blogging about them when they’re little kids. All innocence and all. But soon enough she’ll be a tween, and she will need her privacy. So yes, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I think what I have posted since 2005 (yeah, seriously, eh?) will be a good history for her to read when she’s older (like 18, I’m thinking). I originally posted on a private online diary site when she was a baby, which I have already printed out and put on a binder. I was a starry-eyed mother in love with her new baby. :) Then in 2005, I started this public blog. She’s still young, and doesn’t question much about the separation. I can’t say much as you can’t really go into details with a young child when it involves drug & alcohol abuse. But she will want more details when she’s older. And throughout this blog, it will show how much she and her brother are so loved. Anyway, I may continue blogging about random stuff, but my children will be off-limits. At least the personal details. And no more pictures. Maybe every once in a while.
My car lease expires in April, so I’ve been scouting out my next vehicle. For some reason, I keep returning to the hatchback. With all the Ford problems I’ve had, I’ve always been coincidentally put in a Nissan Versa whenever I have a rental vehicle. Now, it’s hard going from driving an SUV to a car. It just feels weird. But driving the Versa wasn’t that bad. I was incredibly impressed with all the room in the back for the passengers. Plus I need to save money every corner I can, so downsizing to a car makes total sense. It’ll save me tons on gas. So the 3 frontrunners on my mind are:
NISSAN VERSA
I am getting either white or black. I am veering towards white.
HONDA FIT
This is the #1 ranked hatchback in their size division. So of course it’s probably a bit more expensive, and every dollar counts with me. I’m very into the aesthetics, and I really ain’t too hot on it. I know alot of people find that the Fit looks “sportier”, but I hate how it looks. I don’t like how the front end & window all scoops down. I hate how the back end looks like it’s been squooshed. Yes, I have quite the vernacular of car terms, huh?
TOYOTA YARIS
I think I like the look of their souped-up model. However, I can’t afford to upgrade that much. It really was down to the Versa and this. But then we all know about the recent Toyota recalls!!! So yeah, those recalls have totally affected whether I would go with Toyota or not. And I don’t think I will.
Anyway, it’s all not definate yet. But I’m thinking about a hatchback seriously.
These are shells.
After we separated, there was only one time that Joel took the kids for a “visitation”, without me there. The separation was somewhat fresh, so it was agreed between the two of us. I knew Myk was excited, and he had broken so many promises to her already. It was a hell-day for me as he picked them up in a strange vehicle, with a guy & a girl (Sal & Wave – uh, yes.) who we’ve never met before. I couldn’t refuse to let Myk go, as she was sooooooooo excited. But I was just so nervous about him taking the two kids, and not knowing who the heck he was hanging around with. Those 2 people seemed nice enough, but I DIDN’T KNOW THEM. I ended up calling one of my best friends and we hung out all day till I picked the kids up. Ironically, we hung out in North Vancouver, at Ambleside Park. And turns out Joel took them there too. The beach.
The kids had a blast. I talked to Myk, and supposedly Joel took them to an apartment. Where he was living. She tells me that it was weird. That Sal & Wave lived in one room. And some other girl lived in another room. And that the house was super-messy. I remember asking her where daddy slept, and she lowered her voice and whispered: “I think he sleeps on the couch, Mommy. It was really messy.” She was only 5 years old then, and even so, she could see the situation for what it was, and deduce that he probably slept on the couch! Unbelievable, eh?
Anyway, those shells were from that day at the beach. I guess the Wave girl also gave her this sporty purse to carry her shells in. It was so special for Myk. I know that with a deadbeat dad, that your child holds dearly to the last things she has to remember him with. I make sure she has the last toy he bought her. I will never donate it. The big cow he bought for her. I mean, with how much I hate him for doing this to his kids, I would chuck the damn things out. But I know how much it would mean to my daughter.
Anyway, she always kept the shells in this purse. I didn’t want to step on random shells around the house. Anyway, it’s been 2-1/2 years since she’s seen Joel. So the shells have disspitated to little broken pieces. Anyway, somewhere along the line, she ended up dumping the shells in some display bowl I have. And recently I chucked them into the garbage (see picture above).
Myk doesn’t care. She has her new shells from Mexico. We’re continuously making new memories as our own family. Myk’s memories of her deadbeat dad are slowly turning to dust. Only Myk carried memories. Colton has none, and has never felt any loss regarding Joel.
As the single parent, you are always concerned about how your child is processing everything. How it may build her character. And as she gets older and makes more friends, she can now see that not all families have moms & dads. It was really hard on her during kindergarten when this was the case with all her classmates. But now she knows a girl who has the opposite situation as us, which is having a dad, and a deadbeat mom. And another classmate of her’s recently told her she was not allowed to see her mom anymore (it’s a sad one…it’s obvious that her mom dabbles frequently with drugs). Anyway, I’ve told Myk that sometimes you may have a mom & dad, and it still may not be a happy family life.
I remember so clearly reconnecting with an old highschool friend right after the separation. He lives in Ontario, but we emailed. And I was surprised to find out that his home life growing up wasn’t a happy one. He wrote:
I can speak from some experience in telling you that parents staying together for the sake of their children is not necessarily a good thing. If the relationship between the parents is not well then it’s pretty tough to have a loving atmosphere at home.
Sorry to hear about the separation. Better now than later though. My parents just separated last year. Nothing dramatic either but it is still stressful and awkward. Wish they made a decision twenty years ago. Don’t know if that turned me off of relationships, but I’m pretty content being single with a supporting cast of great friends. I have not ruled out anything though. Could still get married and have kids. We’ll see.
At that time I didn’t know how to process things regarding my separation. I mean, of course when you go into a relationship and have kids, you want it to be forever. At that time, I knew I could not stay with him, and that I was sick of being responsible for him all the time. I just had enough and knew I deserved more. However, I felt guilty because of my kids. Now, I knew I wanted to leave Joel a year before. And I stayed and tried again & again for the sake of my kids. So I will never feel guilty for not trying. So, what my friend wrote me really stayed with me, and definately made me feel better about my decision.
I have slowly drifted away from his parents and siblings too. I’m just sick of their constant rehab dramas. I haven’t called his mom since Christmas. And I’m not going to. I mean, if my children wanted to talk to them, then of course I would dial the numbers. But unfortunately, the fact is that my children have not seen them for years, and these grandparents are not on their minds. Before, I used to make a point and say it’s time for them to call their Grandma and Grandpa. But remember how I realized that it’s ridiculous that they don’t call their grandchildren? I mean, I have no doubt they love them. But how weird and stupid it is that they don’t call them, right? So yes, I’m doing a little experiment, and I am not making a point in always calling them. The last time I did that was Christmas. And look…it’s been almost 2 months, and not once have we received a call from them. So…whatever.
I only kept his mom and one of his nieces (who I do love & admire) as my Facebook friends. But with huge limitations…they couldn’t see anything I posted, nor any pictures except for my profile pic. However, I recently dropped them. I’m pretty sure his mom is in contact with Joel. I didn’t want her possibly showing my pictures to Joel. Emailing them to him or anything. And then him putting them on his Facebook like they’re in his life. Because you know he’s the one that has been claiming he’s this weekend dad with them. Foolhardy, delusional ass that he is.
So yes, this is where it’s at with them all. I’ve always heard about Joel’s oldest brother who passed away. And how when he did, his wife never kept in contact with Joel’s mom. And how Joel’s mom never got to know her two grandsons. I always thought that was sad. But now I really can see how it all came about. Because this is where we’re at. I really don’t think anybody in that family takes responsibility on at all. At all. And that is not how I’m raising my children.
‘Nough said.
My work is going through some renovations, so a few areas were moved to a different building. And I love it. At first I was hesitant as I moved from an office of 3 people, to now an office of 40+.
I do love the new building, though. I look right out my window and can see my car. If I see someone stealing my car, I can pound on my window (which doesn’t open) a là that scene in “The Graduate” with Dustin Hoffman.
I would so do it too.
The only problem with having this view is that I am an easily distractable person. A crow flies on the branch, and all of a sudden I’m watching it. A car drives in, I look. Someone parks and walks from the parking lot to the building, and my eyes are totally following them.
Therefore because of this, my blinds are down most of the time.
I also registered Colts for kindergarten today. Registration for kindergarten starts February, but since I already have a kid in the school, I can do it any time. I was talking to the Principal. He is the one who teaches Myk’s Reading Group. I was telling him how we go to the library frequently to take out books. I find that Myk has a steady interest in reading when she reads new things. I mean, who wants to read the same books over and over, right? So I was asking him what grade level of books she is reading at now, and he told me grade 4/5!!! Isn’t that awesome?!?! She’s in grade 2. Mommy Brag Moment, eh?
I went to FATBURGER to eat today. Mushroom Swiss Burger. The burger was so huge. It was a 6oz. I really prefer a 4 oz, so I should of downsized the burger. It was good, though. I was bad, but I was good in that I didn’t combo it with fries and endless pop. I just had a water with it.
I wish I could say I’ve been busy writing, but I have yet to get back to that first paragraph. 
I have been actually catching up on movies. My brother gave me a whole slew of them this past weekend. I think we watched 4 movies this past weekend. I’m such a boy, in that I gravitate towards action movies. Bro had “Street Fighter – Legend of Chun Li” and also “X-Men Wolverine Origins“. I adored the latter. I let Colton watch them, and he went in his room right after to fake-battle. And I swear to God he can do it for hours. He is so like me when I was a kid. Mind you, I grew up playing with 5 boys (bros and cousins), so I was quite the tomboy leader. Myk does that sometimes too, except it’s more in her imagination. Sometimes I’ll catch her crying, and I’m like: “What’s wrong!??” I automatically assume that it has to do with her missing her dad, but then she goes: “Oh, I’m just acting something in my head.”
My daycare lady Linda lives next door to this old Italian couple. Their daughter (and her husband & two girls) actually live literally across the street from them. It’s like the ideal situation. Your families get your own space, but yet you are so close to each other. The daughter goes to work, so in the mornings, her eldest daughter walks across the street with the youngest, and the Grandma babysits them. The Grandma is very outgoing & friendly, but firm. The Grandpa is more quiet. When I would arrive to pick up Colts, he was usually heading out to take a walk around the neighborhood. Colton would call him Uncle John. Every time he would see Colton outside running about, John’s eyes would just light up, and he would wait for Colton to run over to him to chat. Did you know that you really can see someone’s pure love & joy being around kids? I noticed it first with my parents when Myk was born. You can see it. John had it.
I just found out yesterday. Colton was running about in their yard as I was talking to Linda, and Linda told him to not be loud around their yard. That John passed away on Sunday. He had been sick for a while. In all honesty, we barely knew him. I would see him just momentarily and say “hi”. But still he made an impact. I feel very sad for his family.
I’m losing hair. When I wash it, lots come out. When I blow-dry it, lots come out. More than usual. So I had a bit of an inner freak-out. So I went to Sephora to look for this:
I checked it out on the internet, and it sounded like something I would like. You would massage it in your scalp, let it sit for 20 minutes, and then wash it off. And it sounded like it would smell amazing. However, our Sephora doesn’t carry it. I guess it’s a small company in the states that can’t manufacture enough to send to another country. So I checked the rest of Sephora’s hair line, and there was a similar thing made by Ojon. But the goopy stuff just reeked. God forbid I massage it in my scalp, and the wretched smell stays with me! So then I got to some fast-thinking and thought maybe a solution to my falling-out-hair was to wash it only every two days. However, Chinese hair has lots of natural oils, and when you don’t wash it, it can look really greasy. So I bought this spray that you spritz on your scalp during a day you don’t wash your hair. And it’s supposed to take that greasiness out:
It was also from this Ojon line, and I should have known better! I had spritzed a bit of the tester in the air, and the smell was strong, but didn’t seem so bad at that time. So I get home, and try it on my bangs. Just one or two quick squirts. And O.M.G. I smelled like OLD LADY!!!! I walk into my living area, and eau-de-old-lady is following me! You know that smell? Those old ladies with bouffant hairstyles, who obviously load on the old-school aerosol hairspray so that their hair won’t move? I couldn’t stand it. I’m someone that needs my hair to smell pretty & fruity. But but but….the thing is that the spray worked! My bangs didn’t look greasy anymore. But I couldn’t go out in public with it. People would just be overcome by my eau-de-old-lady. So yes, I’m going to head back to Sephora to exchange it. Hopefully they will take it back since it’s an aerosol.
On another note, I have to register Colton for kindergarten soon!!! Can you believe it?!?! I’ll have two in school! I was all worried because I would still have to register him as out-of-district, and I was scared I’d have to go on the waitlist for acceptance again. But I guess because Mykaela is already a student, then he is in for sure! So that is a big worry off my plate. Usually they wouldn’t confirm acceptance till almost right before September, so you’re kind of on pins and needles waiting. I just love my kids’ school. AND…it’s going to be full-time kindergarten for sure this year.
Linda drops off one of her daycare boys to the kindergarten in that same school, and of course she brings Colton along. I guess one day she was late, so she had to report to the Office first. They ran into Myk, and I guess she exclaimed “That’s my little brother” and ran and gave him a huge hug. There’s also this new kid in her class…an adorable black boy. One time there was a PAC General Meeting, and the kids were being watched/babysat in a different classroom. And I guess Colton let him play with his DS, and they kind of bonded that way. We’ve also ran into him in the library one time, and he always goes right up to Colts. Anyway, this boy was with Myk as they are in the same Reading Group, and the Principal was teaching them in his office. And I guess when this kid saw Colton, he gave him a huge hug too. So it really warms my heart to know that Colton is entering school with so many people who already know him, and will watch out for him.
There is something sad that comes out of this, though. Now that kindergarten will be taught a full day, it means that Colton can be eligible to be accepted into the same Out-Of-School-Care (OOSC) that Myk attends. Which means that he will no longer be taken care of by Linda. Linda has watched my kids since they were a year old. She has been like a second mother to them. But it is more convenient & cheaper for me to have them at the OOSC. I can probably put Colts in the OOSC as early as July, but I think I’ll keep him with Linda during the summer. I owe Linda that much. She’s been so amazing. I hope we’re able to keep in touch. You always say it, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen.
So Sephora was amazing. Didn’t even blink at the return. I mean, I had just bought it yesterday.
That’s what I exchanged it for. Something I’ve been coveting. I was watching Fashion TV or some fashion-based show, and they were talking about Dior’s mascaras, and how it’s been perfected, and how they use it on the runway models. And you know me and my chinese-barely-there-eyelashes. I need all the help there is. This is the newest out there. There weren’t any on the shelves, but turns out the store just got a shipment today, so the gal brought out a whole bunch of them when I asked. I know I shouldn’t spend money on this. Bad, bad, bad. But…I covet.
Really, I don’t have much to comment about lately. Sad, eh?
Remember what I said a long time ago about how I think I may write a book? I haven’t been blogging much as my head is slightly engulfed with this. I know where I’m going with it, but there are many levels in which you have to organize things. I have a line-up of characters I’m going to focus on, but it’s hard to reign in what and how you’re going to dwelve into each character. They each have to be their own, and I have to pull the readers into their lives. To make them want to keep on reading, and to care about them.
You know, I take my kids to the library frequently. And I take out books for myself to read. I have a few favourite authors, but sometimes I just mosey through the aisle and see what picks my fancy. One day I came upon a book with the title:
Pretty funny title, eh? But then I read the jacket, and turns out the author is from Vancouver!!! So for sure I take it out. How awesome is it to find an author that lives in Vancouver, who is published! Now, I ain’t no Book Editor, but it was quite amateurish. She wrote in first person between the wife and the husband. The plot of the whole book was simple. Guy has midlife crisis; guy leaves wife and kid; how wife deals with it; how husband deals with it. Granted, she came up with a few funny situations which amused me, but the character development was simple. The characters could of been any woman or man. You ever read the “Shopoholic” series by Sophie Kinsella? Now, she developed a good character, and also supporting characters. She was able to convey all the quirks and personality of her main character, Becky Bloomwood. You just loved her. Oh, and I’m going to throw in one of my favourite authors: Maeve Binchy! She is genius with character development! And plotlines too!
Anyway, another weird thing this Robyn author did was “name drop” Vancouver locales. I mean, it’s always neat to read a book where they write about a local area, and they’re able to convey real details that make your imagination unfold. Alice Munro is a Canadian author, and she does it splendidly. (LOL – I used the word ’splendidly’). However, Robyn just kind of plopped something ‘Vancouver’ randomly. For example, she was trying to relay that the characters were upper middle-class, and she would drop in how the daughter attends “Crofton”, and that they live in “West Point Grey”. I mean, it means nothing to anyone unless you’re from Vancouver. I mean, people outside of the Lower Mainland won’t clue in that Crofton House is a private school, or that West Point Grey is an expensive area to live. It was weird.
Anyway, I read the first chapter of this book, and immediately thought: “Hell! If she can get published, I can get published!” Now, I haven’t read any of her other books, so I don’t know if her writing is always like this. I’m heading to the library today, so out of curiousity, maybe I’ll pick up another of her books.
Now, don’t get too excited. I’ve typed out one paragraph so far. I want that first paragraph to pull the reader in. But now I understand about writer’s block! I decided on my 4 main characters. I wrote that first paragraph, and then I’m doubting whether I should go with 2 of those characters. I’m trying to foresee how far I can go with each character. It’s just…hard.
You know, I’m just going to jump into this. God knows this could take years, but hopefully it won’t be too long. We’ll have to see where this may go, but at least I am trying.
Yes, I am still posting things from December. The last several days have just been intense heavy rainfall. I’ve actually gotten alot of use out of my rainboots this season!
Anyway, after Christmas one of my friends had some extra free tickets to Bright Nights in Stanley Park, where they have the train. Believe it or not, I’ve never been. I think last year I tried to book the tickets online to go with my parents, but the days & times I wanted were all gone. They basically have a whole bunch of Christmas displays, and the train is the main attraction. I think it’s about a 10 minute ride. In all honesty, I think the Festival of Lights at VanDusen Gardens is way more spectacular. The lights are just incredibly outstanding. And for the kids, they get to see a show with Santa and his two hilarious Scandinavian elves. However, the great thing about Bright Nights is that all donations collected at the event, and partial proceeds from the sale of tickets for the train, go to the Burn Fund to help burn survivors and their families.
So here are some of the displays at Bright Nights. I think we were there around 4-ish, and it was still light out. But it got dark quick.
Time for the train!
This Gingerbread Man was a guy on stilts pretending to play hockey.
Homage to Trevor Linden.
Uh, what the….
Now to throw in some sterotypical Mexicans too!
And then my friend gave me 3 free passes to the Aquarium. That was awesome as it’s so expensive to get in there. $22.00 for an adult, and $15.00 each for the kids. I just had to pay the $4.00 for the all-day parking at Stanley Park. My friend was so nice. She even had a $10.00 gift certificate to the Gift Shop, so the kids were able to pick out an item at the end of the day.
I forgot my digital camera, and had to use my camera phone.
It was raining that day, so sitting down outside to watch the beluga show was out of the question. And it’s not really a beluga “show”. More like an “information session”. There are 2 baby belugas right now. 
It was hard for me to capture a non-fuzzy pic of them. The babies are grey.
The kids love touching the starfish and sea anenomes. There are two areas where they have displays for you to do that. Instead of dipping his hand in the water, Colton ended up dipping his arm! So of course his jacket sleeve was soaked. I just wrung out what I could.
We were lucky we happened to catch their feeding time. Then it was like a mini “show”.
The above is a red frog, and the kids watching the dolphins.
We also caught one of their 20 minute 4D shows of “The Polar Express” movie. Colton didn’t want to go at first, but Myk did. Luckily we did because it was so neat! I could hear Myk exclaim, “This is awesome!” so many times. The chairs could move. And there was a scene where the train skidded on ice, and you could feel the ice mist on your face. And another scene where the train was serving hot chocolate, and you could smell it! It really was awesome!
Yes, I know I’m late with this post.
Christmas was wonderful. Woke up that morning and the kids were excited to see what Santa brought them, and they also opened my gifts from them. Myk ended up getting me a Chanel lip gloss and nail polish. That’s from when my brothers took her shopping. She was so excited for me. Darling.
My mom hosted the Christmas Day party at our house for family. We got there earlier so that we could open our immediate family’s gifts for each other.
By the time the other family members started arriving, there was so much food!!!
My aunt got these dark chocolate cups from Costco, and you put whip cream in them, and top them off with whatever. I mean, how can one look at them and resist them!??!?
Let’s just say that last year before the Mexico trip, I had lost a total of about 13 lbs. I gained 6 lbs back. Seriously. Bad bad December! So you can now imagine how I’m on the diet again. I find that it’s so much easier to be on the diet when you’re at work, as you make that effort to prepare the salad, and have a small brekkie. But when you are at home all day, and the fridge is right there, you just reach in and grab whatever is convenient, at whatever time. Well, plus the five million boxes of chocolates and dessert items. Not to mention the carb-heavy leftovers. And I’ll be real and tell you that I bought the “Buy One Box of Dilly Bars & Get One Free Box” deal. They are my ultimate weakness! And I made alot of pasta for the kids during my time off, and usually I would make something else for myself, but I was in that mode of “Fuck it, I already gained…I’ll deal with it later“. You knew I was doomed. Anyway, unlike before, I won’t let this attitude go on for a year, and then 2 years, and then 3, etc. I’m dealing with it now.
Back to the party. This is my cousin’s dog, who is a shi-tzu/yorkshire terrier mix. I cracked up at that jacket of hers. I mean, I wish I had that jacket! Well, it would have to fit a human. 
Stinkin’ cute dog, ain’t it?
The adults played mah-jong. I think they’re the last of our generation who will get together just to play that game. The generation under them just doesn’t have the same interest.
My parents bought Myk & Colts a Playmobil set, which my dad help them set up. Colts has no interest in it, as it includes nothing superhero-ish. But Myk loves horses.
Boys will be boys
Hey bro! I want future grandkids, you know!!!
Anyway, it was just awesome being with family.
So much to do, but so little time. I admit I have been slacking off at blogging. I will go back in time and post some pics later. It’s just been crazy with Colton having been sick, and me missing work, and then me having to catch up with work. I was all worried too because Linda (daycare) told me how she can’t watch Colton on Monday. She had a mammogram. And so basically that morning, I had to wake up at 5:00am to get ready and make lunches and brekkie. Left the house at 6:00am to drive Colton all the way to my mom’s (a city away). I made good time as there was barely any traffic as it was so early. I actually got into work earlier that morning.
On the weekend Colts showed me how his rainboot had ripped open, and so we had to go searching that same day for new ones. It’s been raining ridiculously in ol’ Vancouver lately, and he seriously can’t even go a day without them at this point. I got them at The Shoe Company, which is my favourite store to shop for shoes for my kids. I ended up getting Myk a pair too as her other ones are too small. She is wearing a 5 already. Depending on the maker, she can get into a women’s 5, or a kid’s 5. I’m a size 6. Why is this kid in grade 2 already nearing my shoe size?!?!?
Anyway, yesterday after work, I had to drive all the way back to my mom’s to pick up Colts, so she invited my brothers over too and cooked a chinese course-dinner for us all. It was soooooooo amazing. I guess Colton had the best day with them. No doubt. My parents took him out to Kirin Restaurant for dim-sum. And my parents know every single dish that my kids each favor, so they obviously chose things Colton always devour. Then they went shopping for food (for dinner), and of course Colton convinced my parents to buy him little treats here and there.
The staff at that restaurant know my parents very well. So I asked Colts if they were all telling him how cute he was, and Colts tells me that he was paying no attention to anyone, because they were all stranger monsters to them. He was like: “The whole room was full of stranger monsters!”
And this morning he was bawling. Bawling. He didn’t want to go to Linda’s anymore, and wanted to go back to his grandparent’s. He couldn’t see why he couldn’t be watched by them. I tried explaining that it was too far and that I can’t drive like that all the time. He didn’t care for any explanations.
I’ve really been MIA. I was on vacation for a couple of weeks. But then Colton ended up getting a serious gum infection, and I’ve had to stay home with him pretty much all week. Poor thing must’ve lost 5 lbs. He could only eat soft foods, as anything hard would hurt his gums. He was on antibiotics. I had to make a trip to the laundromat to wash sheets, pillowcases and duvet covers as he would sweat and drool so much when he was asleep. Side effects of meds? Anyway, he’s good now. 
I have to admit that I love the Olympic apparel that are out there right now. However, they’re all so stinkin’ expensive. But that’s as expected, I guess. My kids received the above as part of their Christmas presents from my brothers. Her hoodie and his jersey probably cost near $100.00/each. But don’t they look awesome?
I mean, not that we have tickets to any Olympic events or anything ($$$). I figure I’d try to get them down to any free events that may be going on. David Lam Park? Anyway, now I have no clue whether I have the patience and stamina for that. I think my blood vessels will burst before I would even get to the event. The Vancouver Sun has this article out today: Expect waits up to two hours for transit during the Olympics. Seriously, waiting 10 minutes for me would be torture. Much less having to wait with two kids who get restless so easily!!!
I went to the Olympics Store located at the downtown Bay. I wanted to get some collector pins for my nieces in Ontario, and I figured they’d have more to choose from since the pins occupy three walls there. It’s so dorky. I wanted to use a gift card, but turns out that in the area where they only sell Olympics stuff, that they only accept cash or VISA. I didn’t have cash. And I have only Mastercard. So I ended up using one of those stupid bank machines that service charge you up the wahoo. I mean, stupid. The Bay themselves carry a Mastercard, so how the hell did VISA get into the picture? VANOC probably. Anyway, this is only at the downtown Bay.
I ended up getting one a keychain stuffie of Miga (2nd), and the other one of Muk Muk (4th). Those mascosts seem to be the ones kids favor. Then they also each got a pin. Those pins are like $8.00 – $10.00 each! All Bays nationally sell Olympics stuff, so hopefully I chose things they don’t already have. Oh, and I’m always notoriously late sending them stuff for birthdays and Christmas, so this is obviously a belated Christmas present for them both.
The downtown Bay also has an area where avid pin collectors gather and show off their pins, or exchange them. I just thought I’d take a picture of it. It was by the are where they sell pins. They had a segment on it in the news a few days ago, and the guy that was in the segment was also there that day. Gee, he must go there every day. I checked out his album of pins. He was busy chatting with a fellow pin collector.
That wall map is where pin collectors can give one of their own pins, and then receive a special one for their donation. They’re supposed to put their pin in the area they’re from onto the map.
Some people must obviously live in boats.
So I am going to be gone from blogging for a couple of weeks. I’m going to be on vacation, and you all know that when I’m on vacation, all my time is dedicated to my kids. Please let me come out of this alive….hahahaha, just kidding. I always give props to stay-at-home-moms. Anyway, I’m quite looking forward to this bit of time off and hanging out with my two. I have yet to start wrapping any of my kids’ gifts. I have them all stuffed in my closet, and every time I hear my kids playing in my room, I scream at them to get out! My place is small. I don’t have very many hiding places available.
I went to Toys R Us today and I saw those Zhu Zhu Hamsters. I got the grey one for Colts, and a white one for Myk. They were $12.99 each. Remember I had given up trying to find them? Well, they’re there. And I bought them. I have no idea why I bought them. My brain was like: “Don’t buy them. You know you bought your kids enough stuff this Christmas, and you know they’re going to get a shitload of stuff from your extended family. THEY DON’T NEED THIS!” But they were so stinkin’ cute, and I was possessed, and I bought them!!! 
I didn’t buy any of the accessories, like the ball, or wheel, or car. They can deal without those. I shouldn’t have bought them. Oh well. I’m a dork.
My mom is hosting a party on the 25th for the whole family at her house. My dad’s side of the family. She usually cooks the whole shebang for dinner, like turkey and ham. My aunts always bring along their cooking specialties. So there’s always a whole bunch of food for the whole day. I was thinking of making salsa, but I have all these eggs in my fridge. So I decided to contribute deviled eggs.
Anyway, hope everyone has an amazing Christmas and New Years!
So I’m all done. For real this time. Shopping for christmas. Usually I’m one of those people on the 24th running around a mall like a chicken with it’s head cut off!
The kids and I had gone to the mall on Friday. Myk wanted badly to buy me something that would be a surprise for me. I think she just wanted the joy of giving the bill to pay for it, so it’s like she’s really the one buying for me. It’s kind of tricky when you don’t have a spouse to do that with your kid. Last year Amy (ex-SIL) took her out to find something for me. I told Myk that maybe she could go shopping with my mom the next day, and to veer along picking something like stud earrings, under $20.00. I gave her $20.00 to spend on me.
So Saturday came, and we all went out for lunch. It was a rainy, dreary day, and it seemed like my parents were tired. We all headed back to the house afterwards, and I could tell Myk was so disappointed that we weren’t all going to the mall. Super-disappointed. So as my brothers got out of the car, I explained the situation and asked if they could take Myk out. I mean, it was also the last weekend before Christmas. I knew it was going to be car-razy our there. But my little daughter’s heart was breaking and so disappointed. I could see it, and feel it. And she just lit up when my bros agreed. So she comes back all excited, holding on to this mini Chanel bag. I cried foul at my brothers, but they pretended they knew nothing about nothing. My brothers. I can’t say how amazing they are enough times. I was seriously OK with any $20.00 item Myk would have chosen.
My brothers got my dad a new big screen monitor. He’s going to love it! I had a gift for my dad. My mom has a DS, and it’s a “Price is Right” game. But it was something my mom would probably enjoy more. My dad is soooooooooo hard to buy for. So finally I got a clue to something he may want, within my budget. The previous weekend we were downtown checking out the Olympics stuff at The Bay. We were all checking out this nice 100% wool scarf, which was this olive green colour. And we all abandoned the thought when we saw the price tag of $50.00. For a scarf!!! Anyway, my dad takes walks around the neighborhood, and it’s getting cold. I know 90% he would like it. So I got it. So I feel better about giving him something that he would like.
Sunday I took the kids to the mall for the heck of it. It was pissing rain. Nothing else to do really. It wasn’t bad actually. Found my secret underground area, and got a spot right away. Mind you, the mall had just opened, so it wasn’t crazy yet. Colton is getting better, but he’s still quite a handful to roam the mall with.
I splurged and bought the DVD for the movie “Up“. OMG…it was sooooooooo stinkin’ cute! I’m not a big cartoon fan. The last time I was really impressed with a cartoon was “Finding Nemo“. I love this one too. And I cried too! The first 10 minutes was so sweet. Even my friend said to me that I’m crazy because when things happen in my own life, I don’t cry about it. But then I’ll cry like a fool when I’m watching “Biggest Loser” on TV. And you know, I used to love watching “Jon & Kate Plus 8“. And then that crap happened with Jon going through a mid-life crisis, and dressing like a dork in Ed Hardy, and cavorting with teenage girls. And I was telling my girlfriend about poor Kate. How she must be so embarassed, and how she now has to take care of 8 kids while her husband acted like a fool. And my girlfriend yells at me and asks why I’m feeling sorry for Kate, who is a millionaire. And that I should be looking at my own life, and saying “Poor me” to me! Sounds harsh, but I knew where she was coming from. I just don’t think of it that way. I don’t really think about me as “poor me” and have a pity party because I’ve got a life to lead with my kids. If he’s going to be a deadbeat dork, I’m not going to let that fact rule my life. But yeah, I could cry at other people’s lives. Go figure. Maybe that’s the way I outlet my crying.
And I’ve researched some more. I’m definately going to change my kids surname to mine. It’s actually quite simple. I don’t have to advertise the name change in the newspaper, which will save me a mint. They used to do that years ago, but due to some new thing in the Privacy Act, then you are not required to do that anymore. I’ll do all the paperwork and then go straight to their office and get it done in the new year. Colton’s middle name is in honour of Joel’s older brother, who is already dead. Passed away. And I was thinking to just cut that out too while I was at it. I really struggled with what I should do with Colt’s middle name. I don’t mind his current one at all. Myk’s probably going to put her chinese name as her middle name. Colt’s chinese name doesn’t fit so well by itself. He might have 2 middle names. I still have lots of time to think. This is so weird in that it’s like I’m picking names again! And you obviously choose a first name that sounds good with the last name. And now that I’m changing it, I have to make sure that the middle name flows with the rest of their names. Luckily my surname is a very easy one to match with the existing names.
So I’m done all my shopping, I think. I can’t give big, but I asked my mom to give me some direction, and she asked for some really nice hairbands. I found it at Front & Company on Main Street. I adore that store. It’s 2 stores really. They’re side-by-side. One is a store that sells glassware, funky knick-knacks, gadgets, accessories, and such things. The other store is clothing and accessories. I was able to go their kid-less, and I tell you, I can spend hours in there. This is a store where there’s so much to check out, and you really don’t mind perusing. They’re around Main Street & 21st Avenue, and there are other great vintage stores around there too.
She’s in the back for the first pic, and in the front in the second pic. The school now has a full-time music teacher, and he’s made a big difference. The gym (which is smaller than most gyms) was packed full. It was really nice, and Myk was so proud of herself. So cute. Her teacher was saying how she’s quite the little performer.
Colton, for once, was actually pretty good during the whole thing. He used to go to daycare with this girl. And he was being such a Lothario! They were sitting on the same chair, and he put his arm around her like they were on a movie date. He’d hug her gently. I even caught him kissing her fingers at one point. Where the heck did he learn that stuff?!??!? I finally had to tell him that he had to give her some space.
As the title states, there’s really nothing to update. I have no idea whether he is still in contact with his family. I just assume he is. And obviously his family feels no need to stress to him that he should man up and start acknowledging he has kids to take care of. I was letting the kids call their grandma about once a month. Hey, you know….she doesn’t pick up the fucking phone to call them, so I don’t know what her problem is either. I was always making an excuse for her in that she probably feels guilt about what her son has done, and that’s why she feels awkward to call. But the more I think about it, the more I think it’s bullshit. The last time Myk was talking to her, she asked her grandma what they were doing for Christmas, and she tells Myk how they’re going to do nothing, and they’re not going to celebrate. (They live up in Kamloops) That there’s no little kids around them, so there’s no point. WTF…why would you say something like that to a child? Was she trying to “guilt” someone who cares? Stupid.
You know, I still continued making an effort to include Joel’s mom (somewhat), but I’m starting to slowly not care. I’m ready to write them off. The only reason I don’t is because I know that they are a part of my children. But they’re just really starting to piss me off. None of them take responsibility for anything. I’ve seen it with his brothers & sister, who are all addicts (or ‘recovering’ addicts). They fall off the wagon, and disappear from everyone. Then they go to rehab, which is the only time they have guts to contact their family. And then the family tippy-toes around them and acts likes it’s the grandest thing that they finally see the light. I mean, I understand about “hope” and all that. But it’s a joke with this family. I’ve seen it. They’ve each all been through rehab at least 5 times minimum. His brother has literally gone at least 10 times. So to me his family are all stupid. Why live like that? That’s why I left my ex. They’re just all enabling them, letting them think it’s OK to always go back on drugs, because they will always be treated with ‘butterfly kisses’ when they get back into “rehab”. I see it as it is, and I call it. There’s just something wrong with that family. It doesn’t make sense that every.single.person in that immediate family are like that. She had 6 kids, and they’re ALL addicts. Three different dads, same mom. Except for the 3rd, who has been sober for 20+ years.
Anyway, I’m ready to cut them off because it’s been about 3-4 months since Joel has gotten in contact with his family, and it’s plainly obvious that his family doesn’t feel it necessary to get Joel to acknowledge any responsibility to his kids. Remember how his flighty sister was saying that it’s up to God for Joel to make that step? Always an excuse for addicts.
So yes, this makes my resolve stronger to change my kids’ surname to mine. I liked his surname, but the more this goes on, I don’t want his tarnished name hanging with my kids. He took his surname from his biological dad, who was also a deadbeat father. He was raised by a stepdad since he was 5 years old. So…it would actually be quite symbolic to get rid of his surname. It doesn’t deserve to be linked to my amazing kids.
I actually talk to the ex-MIL a few days ago. I really have nothing to say to her anymore. Like I always said, I’ve never had any problems with my ex-MIL. She’s always been nice. But I’ve lost alot of respect for her with her lack of action lately, and sweeping a big fucking issue under the carpet. However, her sister just found out that she has a late-stage cancer, and is currently going through intensive chemo. And her sister has always been so sweet. This is the sister who has children who are a doctor and an engineer. And I just wanted to know how she was faring, and whether it was OK to send her a Get Well card. So yeah, that’s the only reason I got on the phone with the ex-MIL.
So yes, the connection to his family is definately dying away. And I am starting to feel no more responsibility to keep any relationship going. As I said, his mother could easily call us. But she doesn’t.
It is what it is.
